"Free Time" : Goofy Poetry Inspired by and for the Classroom

"Don't hit people in the face!"

Screams the girl to the boy

with the mashed paper ball.

"Don't scream so loud,"

Groans the boy

with the Hollister shirt from the mall.

"Don't touch my things,"

Pouts the girl to the girl

with the "found" diamond ring.

"Don't leave the room!"

Yells the teacher who's sweeping

gum up with a broom.

Kate draws on the window,

Sam sits on the floor,

Daniel got pinched,

and is asking for more,

Paper plane flies,

hits Josh so he falls,

Timmy is peeling

beige paint off the walls ...

The janitor pauses,

dips paintbrush in prime.

There's a steep price to pay

for announcing "Free Time!"

The teacher comes in,

her face riddled with scorn,

the good kids sit tight.

their faces forlorn.

Johnny's got glue

all caught up in his hair,

and Jill's saying something,

about being unfair.

A tack's on a seat--

you know whose it is--

and 'Lizabeth's spraying a can

of Cheez Whiz.

Tommy is crying

Joan's blowing a kiss

to a boy who's pulling

the pigtail of Kris.

Mickayla is spitting,

out something from lunch,

if you look at the closet--

it's more than a hunch--

Raymond is hiding,

or trying that is,

Carl is demanding

Ray's sweatshirt is his.

The noise from the classroom,

it makes quite a din,

until 'ol Ms. Johnson,

5th-grade teacher,

comes in.

The teacher closed the door upon my head!

... I should have been sitting down instead.

If I could be teacher

we'd talk every day,

we'd have lots of parties,

where trouble would pay.

We'd eat cheesy pizza,

and eat chocolate bars,

and Google the Earth

till it changes to Mars.

We'd tag 'round the room,

make cool paper planes--

then have contests we think,

are completely insane.

We'd drink soda,

eat popcorn,

watch movies we've heard

are super restricted

--we think that's absurd.

We'd make forts with desks,

and turn off the lights,

and when we're all done

it'd be sleepover night.

Our teacher would have to

clean up the whole mess,

but then we'd tell her

that she's the best.

If I could be teacher

Excuse Me!

I'm not your mom.

Is your name Pete?

Is your name Tom?

This is MY classroom,

Pick up your mess.

You can complain,

But your job is no less.

(If I had a dime for every time)

I used to walk miles

to school in the snow.

You can't write

what you don't know.

Mountains are meant

to be climbed my dear.

Was I talking to you?

Did you hear me say "No?"

I've never been so embarrassed

guys and gals.

I don't expect any sass

I'm your boss,

not your pal.

But if you overcome,

you can assume,

I've one more catch phrase:

"I'm so proud of you."